I am not afraid of storms, for I am learning how to sail my ship. - Louisa May Alcott

Sunday School was good. But not in the way I had originally thought it might be, you know?

I've been teaching for more than twenty years, and have found that my best lessons are the ones in which I know my scripture and all the "original Greek/Hebrew" stuff that makes certain words more specific in the original languages, and where I have my primary point and application (because Scripture is only pretty words if it is not applied)... Anyway. When I know what the Scripture says and how and then...then I pray and try to get out of the way so that God can tell the kids what he wants them to know. Sure, he uses me, because I'm the nut in front of the class and I love my students dearly, but, I really do try not to push an issue if I see the questions and comments moving in another way.

Yesterday was one of those days.

One of my students has a cousin. Rather, had a cousin. Sadly, this young man, only sixteen years of age, killed himself this past week. He was a Christian, but he was made fun of and picked on and -- reportedly -- even beaten up because of his beliefs. I didn't know this person, but I will take it on the trustworthy witness of his cousin, whom I have known for years. The young man kept everything in, didn't talk much, and apparently decided that death was preferable to dealing with life anymore.

I wish I could have talked to him. I wish I had known him. I wish...oh so many things. Life at sixteen is weird, confusing, hard, and there are few people out there who do not feel, at some time or other, that they are persecuted by one body of people or another. It's easy to feel on the pointy end of the stick. Most of us gut it out and survive our teen years. Some do not.

Well, the suicide was discussed, and then the other kids chimed in with discussing other forms of self-mutilation that are practiced at their schools. It made for an...interesting way to begin class.

However, the scripture for the day was Romans 5:1-2. Here, the apostle Paul shares about peace, hope, and joy. Not the transient feelings that we get when things are going well, when we're not at war, when we're happy-happy-bounce-bounce about something. But the deep and abiding confidence we can have in the Lord. The confidence that he is always with us, will never let us go, and that we can cling to him if we have nothing else.

It was not where I had thought to go with the lesson yesterday. But it is where God took us. I know it affected me profoundly. I hope that there isn't a one of my kids who will ever try suicide. I hope that if they learn nothing else from their years with me, that they will know that God is always with them and will always see them through the hardest and most horrendous times, and that he will never let them out of his hands. Ever. Unless leave him intentionally. Which is another story for another day.

It was a good lesson. It was a quiet lesson. I hope someone learned something.